Realizing that the way I speak of my eldest son would lend one to think he would be up for Messiah of the Year Award, I wish to confirm that my boy is clearly on Tera Firma and has totally human feet. He is so human that he failed his math test today. What was surprising was his response to having failed the test.
In my experience, when a pupil fails a paper or test the first thing they look for is a scapegoat. In their mind this saves them from having to take the responsibility for their lack of preparation or concentration during the examination. It is a lot easier to blame the kid sitting next to/behind/in front of them for any and all problems. And we, as adults and teachers, allow them to get away with this behavior by not forcing them when necessary to take responsibility for their work.
If the pupil is unable to find a convenient scapegoat or is denied one by a teacher who is not willing to be the mug, what is displayed is anger, sometimes to the point of rage. How dare a teacher mark the paper in this manner? Who the hell do they think they are? I have been greeted more than once with these words and accompanying body language; however, my personal favourite is, "I'm going to get my dad on you and then you will be sorry!" I remember standing in one maths class and being told this. The school had in-class telephones, so I picked up the receiver and asked the boy for his dad's phone number. He backed down and proceeded to threaten me with the infamous "I know where you live". All this anger because the student felt, believed, or was taught somewhere along the line that you don't have to prepare for tests either in school or in life.
The third most common variation of behaviour is sullen silence. I do get worried with this one. The other two are easy, but this one does lend me to visions of children being beaten severely for bad test marks. I would like to deny that this happens, but unfortunately this is a trigger for abusive parents looking for a reason. Those pupils prone to sullen silence were invited to see me either after class or after school, lunch time or break time. We would talk the paper through and see if there was any way of salvaging a desperate situation. I do have to admit, I did get some improvement from these pupils.
So what did the boy do today that shocked me? He screamed that he wanted to resit the paper immediately before I had even marked it. The thing is that his "school room" is on a different floor of the house from where I was (doing the ironing). He brought me the paper and was crying harder than the last time he fell off his horse and nearly broke his leg. This near hysteria was from the fact that he had to take responsibility for failing that paper and none of the usual behavioral responses fit.
After nearly a half an hour of calming him down, I realized that we no longer allow our children to fail. Failing is now so taboo in our society that we go to extreme lengths to make sure that the developing young people never experience this -- until it is too late. Every so often I watch "The Apprentice". I see young and middle age people vying with each other for this coveted position. I can see the mistakes they are making and cringe because I know that Sir Alan will have them for toast. What is more interesting is the excuses they make for having failed. I have yet to see one of the contestants say, "Yes, I made of mess of it and he was right to fire me because I failed."
Failure is worthwhile. If you fail and keep your head, then you can actually learn something from the experience. Yes the idiots will say it is character building, but in truth it is intelligence building. It is not the successes that make the man but his failures and how he dealt with them. Back in the dark ages of the the 1980s I had a post graduate teaching position in an American university. I tried to fail a student in one of my classes and was immediately informed by my Department Head that I could do no such thing. His parents were major donors to the school. So I had a tough choice: my academic integrity or my PhD. What did the young man learn? That if you have enough money, then you never have to take responsibility for your actions.
Not having properly learned that one can not fail pupils, five years ago I tried again. I had another boy in my class who was not hopeless mathematically, he simply could not count, add, subtract, multiply or divide, and he did not care. His parents were insistent that he take the Higher OCR Maths Paper. There was no way that he could have passed it. I told my Head this. I told the School Governors this. In fact, I told them that the boy was failing and would be given an "F" grade for class and home work. I, in return, was told in no uncertain terms that the boy would not fail his math class because "we don't fail pupils at this school. It would cause untold psychological damage." The boy's result came back as a "U" and I took the heat for it.
So our children are not allowed to fail because of the psychological damage it will cause. We allow pupils to flow through the education system and teach them all the excuses they might need, but none the practicality that failing might. We teach them to blame others and not take responsibility for themselves. We don't show them with the little failures how to remedy the situation. And when they fail their GCSEs, A-Levels, university degrees and they are damaged to the point of suicide, we, the well meaning teachers of the world, ring our hands and wonder what went wrong.
So he failed today. Yet, he learned more about himself and world in that F than any top mark lecture or project could have taught him. And he knows that every failure has the chance to teach him what will be required of him in "The Real World".
He unexpectedly re-sat the test this afternoon when his brothers and sister came home from school. It was different paper but the same problem type. He didn't mess around or look for a reason to get out of it. He scored 19 out of 22.
And to this day, I hate being referred to as Dr.
Monday, 21 April 2008
Sunday, 20 April 2008
The Next Chapter....
It has been a (long) while since my last post and much has happened which is why I haven't had the time to blog properly or otherwise. The big thing has been that my 10 year old is no longer in school. After much soul searching and bouts of neurotic fear, we decided to home school.
Home schooling is not something I would recommend that one enter into lightly. We, my husband and myself, were given very little choice in the matter. The Local Education Authority became involved when my son achieved a full half term of unexcused absences. Apparently sending in to the school letter after letter stating my son was unwell and meetings with the school that included his psychiatrist and psychologist does not constitute a proper excuse for being ill. Mental illness is not an acceptable reason for missing school -- especially when it is the school that is the cause of the mental illness, in this case severe depression and anxiety. I met with the LEA representative and was informed that either my son was in school for the full of the following half term or he was officially withdrawn. If he was not officially withdrawn, then they would go to the courts and get a Mandatory School Attendance Order. Knowing the child was in no shape to attend school, we were forced to withdraw him and to commence home school.
As a teacher, I had always been informed, taught, led to believe, that the worst people for teaching children was in fact the parents. Parents are ill prepared and lack the necessary objectivity required for the proper education on young people. Parents lack the ability to discern the correct method to instruct children because they are blinded by the emotional tie that is present in the parent-child relationship. Not being a professional, parents bring to the educational atmosphere an almost voyeuristic, Münchhausenian expectation of their child's development. In other words, parents who home school are doing it for the benefit of themselves and not their the children.
This is utter rubbish.
With this having been beaten mentally into me, I was terrified of teaching my son. I have been observed and judged by OFSTED as an excellent teacher. I have helped my former pupils to high GCSE results. I have worked with educationally challenged teenagers and helped them to become academically achieving students capable of doing A-Levels. I know how to get children and teenagers to produce to the Government standard without them going insane. So why couldn't I do this with my own kids? My husband watched for years as my school pupils were able to take advantage of my knowledge and leadership while our own children suffered under less competent colleagues. It has only been through his support that I have been able to do this.
So what have I learned? Home school requires excellent time management skills and a knack for multi-tasking. I have learned that I can sort the laundry (forever the laundry!) and discuss political changes brought forward during the reign of Elizabeth I. I have found that a good discussion about the nature of various animals can be done while I iron (laundry part two: The Nightmare). I have also learned that I can cover the National Curriculum in about a day and half -- roughly 7 hours a week if I move at a medium pace. So what are they doing the other 3 1/2 days they are at school?
I learned that all text books that any student could possibly want are readily available for purchase and many come with a learning scheme. Perhaps things have changed, but I had been taught that parents who home school do so without the benefit of proper resources. OK, so I can't pop into my local WH Smith or Waterstones and pick up the latest version of a geography textbook, but I can sure order it on line. I also have the luxury of being able to drop the parts of the National Curriculum which are nothing more than governmental propaganda -- something a state school teacher can not do for fear of losing their job. The education my son is now receiving fits and benefits my son. Will this make him a better "citizen of the future"? Who can tell? All I know is that he will be a thinking member of society who will be able to form his own thoughts, opinions and judgments with minimal government spin.
In the last 12 weeks I have watched my "failing" and "emotionally immature" (directly from his school report) son become a calm, competent learner. For a boy who could not sit still and learn his multiplication tables, he is now able to long multiplication and division, understands equivalent fractions, the nature of contentious religious divides, how to properly use adjectives in his writing, the nature and purpose of plants, how weather affects the local environment and how to confidently complete a 9 fence show jumping course.
My son wasn't failing. The school and educational system failed.
Home schooling is not something I would recommend that one enter into lightly. We, my husband and myself, were given very little choice in the matter. The Local Education Authority became involved when my son achieved a full half term of unexcused absences. Apparently sending in to the school letter after letter stating my son was unwell and meetings with the school that included his psychiatrist and psychologist does not constitute a proper excuse for being ill. Mental illness is not an acceptable reason for missing school -- especially when it is the school that is the cause of the mental illness, in this case severe depression and anxiety. I met with the LEA representative and was informed that either my son was in school for the full of the following half term or he was officially withdrawn. If he was not officially withdrawn, then they would go to the courts and get a Mandatory School Attendance Order. Knowing the child was in no shape to attend school, we were forced to withdraw him and to commence home school.
As a teacher, I had always been informed, taught, led to believe, that the worst people for teaching children was in fact the parents. Parents are ill prepared and lack the necessary objectivity required for the proper education on young people. Parents lack the ability to discern the correct method to instruct children because they are blinded by the emotional tie that is present in the parent-child relationship. Not being a professional, parents bring to the educational atmosphere an almost voyeuristic, Münchhausenian expectation of their child's development. In other words, parents who home school are doing it for the benefit of themselves and not their the children.
This is utter rubbish.
With this having been beaten mentally into me, I was terrified of teaching my son. I have been observed and judged by OFSTED as an excellent teacher. I have helped my former pupils to high GCSE results. I have worked with educationally challenged teenagers and helped them to become academically achieving students capable of doing A-Levels. I know how to get children and teenagers to produce to the Government standard without them going insane. So why couldn't I do this with my own kids? My husband watched for years as my school pupils were able to take advantage of my knowledge and leadership while our own children suffered under less competent colleagues. It has only been through his support that I have been able to do this.
So what have I learned? Home school requires excellent time management skills and a knack for multi-tasking. I have learned that I can sort the laundry (forever the laundry!) and discuss political changes brought forward during the reign of Elizabeth I. I have found that a good discussion about the nature of various animals can be done while I iron (laundry part two: The Nightmare). I have also learned that I can cover the National Curriculum in about a day and half -- roughly 7 hours a week if I move at a medium pace. So what are they doing the other 3 1/2 days they are at school?
I learned that all text books that any student could possibly want are readily available for purchase and many come with a learning scheme. Perhaps things have changed, but I had been taught that parents who home school do so without the benefit of proper resources. OK, so I can't pop into my local WH Smith or Waterstones and pick up the latest version of a geography textbook, but I can sure order it on line. I also have the luxury of being able to drop the parts of the National Curriculum which are nothing more than governmental propaganda -- something a state school teacher can not do for fear of losing their job. The education my son is now receiving fits and benefits my son. Will this make him a better "citizen of the future"? Who can tell? All I know is that he will be a thinking member of society who will be able to form his own thoughts, opinions and judgments with minimal government spin.
In the last 12 weeks I have watched my "failing" and "emotionally immature" (directly from his school report) son become a calm, competent learner. For a boy who could not sit still and learn his multiplication tables, he is now able to long multiplication and division, understands equivalent fractions, the nature of contentious religious divides, how to properly use adjectives in his writing, the nature and purpose of plants, how weather affects the local environment and how to confidently complete a 9 fence show jumping course.
My son wasn't failing. The school and educational system failed.
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