On A Journey To Me

I decided to take a trip this year.  It's going to take all year.  I am hoping that this trip will prove to be interesting. I am going to meet someone.  This someone is a person I lost track of.  This person is me.

It was hard to get back into this blog because I haven't written or posted anything since 2010.  Seven years has gone past since I last wrote here and so much has changed. My family is massively different. I now have a grown son and my baby is a proper teenager. The fish died. We now have 4 cats and 20 horses. The husband is getting rather grey.  I had a serious accident which has left me with a slightly crippled left leg. We no longer live in a big house, but a tiny caravan at our equestrian centre.  Lots of changes.  So many changes that I've lost exactly who I am.

I know that as you age and go through the cycle of life that you physically and your perspectives change.  What can also happen is that one can become lost in the stresses of living everyday and forget to live every day. That is what has happened to me.  I work.  I work constantly. I work on the yard. I work as a teacher. I work as a mother. I work as housewife. I work (almost) as a wife. Unfortunately, I haven't worked at being me.

So I have a plan.  I've got a written, notebook journal with ideas of how I am going to find Kay. It contains ideas about cleaning and exercise, but it also has ideas on self development and personal growth.  I'm going to use this space as a place to reflect where I have been over the last week. This way I will be honest to myself and have a place to look back on what I have accomplished -- something we all fail to look at reasonably.

So what has happened this week?

New Year's Day was on Monday and it was okay.  I had spent the previous 2 weeks working flat out on new policies so that the yard was legal. I was washed out. We had a nice albeit lazy day. Tuesday was work as was Wednesday. However, Wednesday was The Eldest's birthday. He's now 19. So we invited friends over and I made a proper, semi-formal dinner. It was a blast and I had a lot of fun (until the foot & ankle decided to show up with their gift of pain). Thursday was a recovery day. Today, Friday, I took down Christmas and cleaned the office.  It felt good. I like everything to be tidy and put in the right place.  I think that is important.

So what did I find out this week?

I found out I still like cooking.  I had such fun making that dinner and it was a real treat to see how much everyone enjoyed it. Birthday Boy was thrilled and said it felt like it was supposed to feel on his birthday. That meant so much to me.

I also found out that I really do need a clean environment to thrive in. I, again, was so happy to have a tidy (in spite of the never ending mud that is my life) office. I need a clean desk where I can set my work out and know what needs done. When it is done, then I can celebrate that I did accomplish what I needed to.

What do I hope for next week?

I am hoping that my leg, ankle and foot will be okay enough for me start to do some simple exercises. I think stretching exercises will a good way to start.

Well....that's the plan anyway.  See you next week and I'll let you know how I got on.